Lest you think this is going to be one of those posts lamenting the dearth of good men, let me assure you – it’s not. This is a genuine call for assistance. Where are all the great guys??? With our increasingly hectic lifestyles, we’re lucky if we manage to squeeze in time to meet our friends and family, so finding time to meet new people and date can be challenging.
There seems to be this preconceived notion that singlehood is synonymous with being lonely, but I’m truly too busy to be lonely. Any free time I have is guarded jealously, and I don’t particularly fancy spending it with somebody whose company I don’t enjoy. But how long can I be busy for, though? What happens when I’m old and arthritic? Wouldn’t I want a loved one I can rely on then (but wouldn’t he be old and arthritic too)?
Then again, it’s not that I have not tried “putting myself out there” (whatever that even means.) I have tried the following avenues of dating, all to varying degrees of success.
1. Getting Friends To Introduce You To Their Friends
Pros: You can take comfort knowing the guy you’re meeting has your friend’s stamp of approval. (That’s not to say he won’t turn out to be a jerk though. I once went out with this guy introduced by my best buddy and he turned out to be grossly chauvinistic.)
Cons: If things don’t pan out between you and the guy, more people will be involved in the post-relationship awkwardness.
2. Group Dating Events
Pros: Even if you don’t find someone special, you may end up making a few good friends.
Cons: Similar to blind dates, the people at group dating events generally give off an air of unease and discomfort. #TrueStory
3. Online Dating
Pros: You get to scroll through literally hundreds of profiles in the comfort of your home, using snazzy algorithms to narrow your choices to people who fit most closely to your ideal of the perfect mate.
Cons: There are plenty of creeps lurking on online dating sites. #AnotherTrueStory
Pros: With everybody being a little inebriated, the conversation will flow more easily.
Cons: While I get that people do meet the loves of their lives in clubs and other similar social settings, the fact remains that most people go to clubs looking for something casual. Call me old-fashioned, but if you’re looking for someone to marry or have a long-term relationship with, a club may not be the best option.
5. Engaging In Activities Outside Of Your Comfort Zone
Pros: You get to do and learn something new! Everything else is a bonus.
Cons: Can’t think of any, really.
So you see, it’s not for lack of trying. However, despite my best intentions, it just seems hard to find someone I can genuinely click with. And when I do find that person, more often than not, he’s already attached! But that’s a story for another day.
If you’re reading this and have some ideas on where I can find eligible men (who also happen to be hot hahaha) please drop me a note in the Comments section below!
Love In Lines is a special under the Relationship section of Material World. The four founders each takes a week in a month to talk about dealing with love from different perspectives. Founder Vanessa Tai talks about navigating the often-confusing world of singledom. Stay tuned for more!
About The Author: Vanessa Tai is a founder of Material World who has previously worked on magazines Simply Her and Cosmopolitan Singapore. Now a freelance writer and a full-time contributor to this website, the 26-year-old dreams of attending every single major music festival before she turns 30. Her worst first date ever involved a heated argument on feminism. Follow her on Twitter @VannTaiTweets.
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