Love In Lines, Relationships

[Love In Lines] How To Know If You’re Falling In Love – Vanessa Tai

Call it infatuation, lust, puppy love, or whatever you want. According to Vanessa Tai, the first few flutterings of love is possibly one of the best feelings of the human experience.

material world_falling in love

Although I often say I’ve never been in love, I have to confess that’s not entirely true. I do know what it’s like to start falling for somebody, but for a myriad of reasons, I always end up putting a stopper on my feelings. Now that I’m older (and hopefully wiser), I want to stop holding myself back and finally give in to the giddy exhilaration of falling in love.

Disclaimer: This list is particular only to me, but I believe you may find some common traits!

1. You behave differently around him

At work and with friends, the side of me people usually interact with is the straight-talking, strong and independent business owner. But when I’m with a guy I’m falling in love with, a forgotten side of me seems to make more regular appearances. I listen more than I talk, and for some reason, my voice and mannerisms become softer. It’s most peculiar.

2. You get off your high horse

When I am not in love, my mind tends to be more pragmatic. I would express derision toward people who make (what I deem to be) poor decisions because of love. For example, I had a friend who gave up a prestigious overseas scholarship because she didn’t want to be away from her boyfriend. Non-in love me thought it was a waste and a bad decision, career-wise. However, in-love me will be more likely to understand how difficult it is to be apart from someone you love so deeply.

3. You feel safe with the other person

When you first start dating someone new, you’re both feeling each other out and trying to establish a connection. Both of you are slowly letting down your guards and inviting the other person into your inner thoughts. It’s scary, but also invigorating.

Sadly, it doesn’t always pan out. Sometimes he may discover something about you that causes him to back off (and vice versa).

But you know you’re falling in love when you feel safe enough to reveal your deepest insecurities … and he replies with utmost sincerity, “You are perfect as you are.”

4. Everything suddenly seems extra romantic

Like many women, I’ve always had a soft spot for romantic comedies. But when I’m falling in love, EVERY LITTLE THING seems romantic. Random love song on radio? Speaks directly to me! Random news story about couples who’ve been married for years? True love exists afterall! Random thing that reminds me of the guy I’m falling in love with? It’s a sign that we’re meant to be! And so on. It’s nauseating … but also very normal.

5. You write lists like these.

Need I say more?

Love In Lines is a special under the Relationship section of Material World. The four founders each takes a week in a month to talk about dealing with love from different perspectives. Founder Vanessa Tai talks about navigating the often-confusing world of singledom. Stay tuned for more!

About The Author: Vanessa Tai is a founder of Material World who has previously worked on magazines Simply Her and Cosmopolitan Singapore. Now a freelance writer and a full-time contributor to this website, the 27-year-old dreams of attending every single major music festival before she turns 30. Follow her on Twitter @VannTaiTweets.

[If You Like This Post, You Might Also Like]

1. [Love In Lines] Being Vulnerable In Love
2. [Love In Lines] The Fear Of Getting Hurt
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Love In Lines, Relationships

[Love In Lines] 5 Things Single People Hate – Vanessa Tai

Don’t get me wrong, there are many things I like about being single – namely, the freedom to do anything I want – but there are times where being single sucks. And no, it’s not being the only singleton at a coupled-up party (although that kind of blows too.) After speaking to several of my single friends, I’ve put together a list of things that really peeve us single folk. Can you guess which is my top peeve?

Not all single women are variations of Bridget Jones, y'know.

Not all single women are variations of Bridget Jones, y’know.

1. People assuming that all you want out of life is to get attached
I may be generalising, but this is especially prevalent for women. You can be highly successful in your career, but people will still ask, “Oh, but how’s your love life? Anything exciting going on there?” Yes, I get that they’re probably concerned (or nosey) but to me, it just sounds like my relationship status is the most important factor when calculating my worth as a person.

2. People saying things like, “You just haven’t found the right person,” or “You just need to make more friends.”
Whenever I hear something like that, I’ll think, “No shit, Sherlock! And here I thought I was single and alone because of my ugly, warty face or my despicable personality!” But if you proffer any sort of sarcastic response, you get labelled as a bitter old spinster. You just can’t win!

3. When friends tell you to “stop being picky, or you’ll be left on the shelf.”
Of course, the first thing you’ll feel is annoyance. But when the irritation has settled, self-doubt starts to creep in. “Could they be right? Am I really too picky? If everybody is attached, there must be something wrong with me!”

4. The assumption that there’s The One
I’ll admit it, when I was younger and way more idealistic, I used to believe there was One Person out there for everyone. Until a particular Sex and the City episode where Miranda tells Charlotte holding out for that ONE soulmate is too dangerous because the probability of never meeting him is so high. That really opened my eyes that there’s no one perfect partner; it’s more of finding someone who’s suitable and both of you working hard to make the relationship work.

5. People assuming you’re just bitter whenever you talk about being single
I’m sure you’re familiar with this scenario: A single woman makes a bold declaration that she’s perfectly content staying single for the rest of her life … and people will make snarky comments ranging from, “She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on,” to “She just needs to get laid!” I’m not even going to try to defend myself or my fellow single friends here, because no matter what I say, people will still form their own assumptions. All I’m going to say is, we can’t even begin to know what goes on in people’s minds so let’s all curtail our judgment, shall we?

Fellow singletons, what are YOUR pet peeves? Tell us in the Comments section below!

Love In Lines is a special under the Relationship section of Material World. The four founders each takes a week in a month to talk about dealing with love from different perspectives. Founder Vanessa Tai talks about navigating the often-confusing world of singledom. Stay tuned for more! 

About The Author: Vanessa Tai is a founder of Material World who has previously worked on magazines Simply Her and Cosmopolitan Singapore. Now a freelance writer and a full-time contributor to this website, the 26-year-old dreams of attending every single major music festival before she turns 30. One of her favourite “single gal” activities is eating like a feral animal in public while reading a book. Follow her on Twitter @VannTaiTweets

[If You Like This Post, You Might Also Like]

1. [Love In Lines] The Fear Of Getting Hurt
2. [Love In Lines] Singlehood and Self-Pity
3. [Love In Lines] The Question I Dread The Most

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