Love, Relationships

6 Scandalous Things You Must Know About Sexting – Matthew Fam

The sexting revolution is upon us all. With in-built cameras becoming the norm for gadgets and online dating applications aplenty, connecting has become so instant. Enter rallies of kinky text messages, and the hotly debated sexy snap. Ultimately, it’s one’s prerogative to send a dirty picture of herself. In the case you do, take note of these tips:

Do you really want to be sending intimate snaps of yourself?

Do you really want to be sending intimate snaps of yourself?

Why you absolutely shouldn’t do it:

1. Unwanted Appearances
When you release an intimate image to someone, you’re at his mercy. So, you either trust that your chat partner doesn’t circulate these potentially embarrassing shots, or don’t send them at all.

As of late, there have been Tumblr pages dedicated to these raunchy shots- most of which containing reader-submitted images without the subject’s consent. Unless you derive a thrill from exhibitionism, you don’t want to be making an unwanted appearance! Even if you manage to contact the web administrator to take them down, chances are, other people have already seen it within that window of time (and had the chance to save it for future distribution).

If the possibility of this happening totally freaks you out, don’t risk it- especially to a total stranger.

Uhh, I don't think he'd be deleting those photos anytime soon...

Uhh, I don’t think he’d be deleting those photos anytime soon…


2. The Psycho Ex-Boyfriend
You know those tacky Channel 8 serial drama episodes, where a crazy ex-lover threatens to release compromising photos in a fit of revenge? You get the drift. Yes, as if sexting strangers was bad enough, sending dirty pictures to your loved ones may also pose a problem.

Who’s to say that when things get sour between you two, he’ll be respecting your intimate snaps sent over the course of your relationship? Have a matured discussion over such sensitive material (I don’t recommend “Delete my photos. NOW!!”) without any hair pulling, kicked groins or screaming.


3. The Awkwardness Of It All!
Careers have been ruined over the tarnishing of professional images. Think Christopher Lee, that Craigslist congressman from New York who resigned over an exposed shirtless snap.

Considering how small Singapore is and inter-connected our social circles are, one innocent photo share can wreck your reputation. A good girl friend of mine showed a dirty snap of an ex who happened to be our mutual friend. Awkward. As. HELL. Now, I can’t look at said person in the eye without his merchandise seared across my mind, thank you very much.

Really want to do it? Then heed these tips:

4. Discretion, darling.
Fine. So you have a bangin’ bod that you absolutely have to show him, because not flaunting all those hours at the gym is criminal. By all means, snap away. (And make sure you get an eye candy of a shot in return!) But for the love of humanity, please exercise discretion.

If you intend to send your sexy snaps over, protect yourself by making them as anonymous as possible. You may strategically crop off your head, or reveal sections of yourself instead. Download censoring applications such as PhotoCensor Free to keep any unwanted bits blurred, such as a background that might easily identify yourself. Plus, it’s a great way to tease him without compromising all of your modesty.

Snapchat was MADE for sexting.

Snapchat was MADE for sexting.

5. Snapchat Is For Sexting
Sorry, I’m totally calling dibs on this: Snapchat is for sexting. It’s a smart way to send your dirty pictures without leaving behind any tracks. What’s special with this chat application is its photo-sending function. You get to set an amount of time (ranging from 1 to 10 seconds) in which the recipient sees your photo before the dirty evidence gets destroyed. Plus, you will be alerted if your pervy chat partner decides to sneak in a screenshot. Seriously. Does this not reek of sexting potential??

What if he wants it and you don’t?

6. (Sometimes) Good Girls Finish First
Don’t send it if you don’t want to. This may sound like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how the pressure to comply and feel desired can be.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with standing firm in what you believe in, even if it means a strict, no-sexting, no-dirty-anything rule.  You have control over your body. And if he insists that you send a dirty snap, he’s probably not worth your time in the first place. Ignore him and move on: girl friend, you are better than that.

At the end of the day, if you choose to sext, rock it out. Feel great in your own skin and be effing fabulous. Be responsible with who you send your snaps to and fire away!

So, what do YOU think about sexting? Share with us in the comments section!

About the Author: Matthew Fam is a contributing writer of Material World, and has worked at Cosmopolitan Singapore as an intern and freelancer. He writes, teaches, and performs for the stage. Matthew enjoys museum visits, origami, and is passionate about Singaporean Theatre.


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