Entertainment, Love, Relationships

10 Must-Know Ways He’ll Never Be Boyfriend Material – Matthew Fam

Is he into you? Is he not? And if he is, does he only see you as a one night stand? The madness ends NOW. Whether you’re dealing with someone out of your league, a playboy or complete sleazeball creep, the telltale signs are undeniable. Here, the 10 must-know ways he isn’t boyfriend material.

1. The Picture Sender
Rule of thumb: if a guy is totally into you, he’d want to share as much of his life as possible. This means sending snaps of anything under the Sun- his new haircut, the new GoPro camera he’s tricked out with, or even a meal that he whipped up (pssst… your cue to suggest a dinner date!) On the flipside, if your Whatsapp media folder has been flatlining, you know he’s a real dud.

emoji

Shut up now.

2. Emoji Overload
And just when you thought emoticons were bad enough. Emojis teeter on the date-defining line between adorable and totally nauseating. So imagine if your sweetie signs off each and. Every. Single. One of his texts with a parade of monkey faces. You’re dating a man- not babysitting a teenage kid.

3. Hanky Panky
Touch is essential for intimacy, no doubt. But having it five steps ahead of the game gives the impression that he’s only in it for your lady bits.

Signs to look out for instead? Eye contact, mimicking of body postures, and his pelvic region facing you (sounds insane, but seriously). Sometimes, subtlety does it.

tumblr_n20st9nAVV1tpkh8yo1_500

4. The Phantom Menace
Text. Flirt. Disappear. Repeat.  Sound familiar? Unless you’re settling for a flirtationship, you should find a chap who won’t string you along. Perhaps you could switch things up and make him the one to wait instead! Just remember: no crazy text spamming or instant replies that scream ‘psycho girlfriend’.

5.When the ‘L’ word is said FAR too soon
According to this article, men take 88 days on average to say ‘I love you’ to their girlfriends. And over 39% of those surveyed take the verbal plunge during the first month of their relationship. While this isn’t a compulsory guide, it should give you a fair gauge if your man is just saying romantic mush to appease you.

tumblr_mvocecDQXV1slj24go1_500 2 6. Payment In Kind
Let’s get one thing straight: him paying for your date is NOT an excuse for a free pass at you. And you absolutely shouldn’t feel obliged to entertain his advances. I mean, hello?? It drives home the message that you’re a commodity to be bought… and ain’t nobody got time for that!

7. Repeat Offender
Now, this technique requires some next-level snooping skills (and a sliiight breach of his privacy… just don’t get caught!) If the way he treated his past girlfriends fall into a pattern- same breakup excuse, same bad habits- you know he’s not likely to change his spots anytime soon!

Total. Deal. Breaker.

Total. Deal. Breaker.

8. When He Secretly Films You During Sex!
Ever wanted to be a YouTube celebrity? Well, the only kind of internet sensation you DON’T want to be is this!

Sure, sex is supposed to be fun, but this here is a major deal breaker. Aside from having a total lack of respect, recording lewd acts without consent is just way too creepy. Spot a suspicious red dot floating in the darkness of his room? Congratulations- you now have liberty to go apesh*t on his MacBook.

9. Phone Fiddler
We’re all guilty of the occasional phone checking- even during dates. But if he’s busier than a Bangalore call centre, dump the dude. Actions speak volumes, so if he can’t even commit that little bit of time for you, what more a longer-term relationship? If text replying is a must (could it be that he’s chatting up other ladies too??), how about having a 5-minute timeout instead?

10. Bad Body Odour
Deodorant; cologne; instruct man to scrub pits with Clorox… Or seriously, just don’t go out with him.

So, how do YOU judge if someone is boyfriend material? Share with us in the comments section below!

 

About the Author: Matthew Fam is a contributing writer of Material World, and has worked at Cosmopolitan Singapore as an intern and Contributing Beauty Assistant. He writes, teaches, and performs for the stage. Matthew enjoys museum visits, Singaporean Theatre, and spends too much of his undergraduate allowance on magazines.

 

If you liked this post, you might also like:

1. The 8 Times You’re A Total Biatch Without Knowing It – Matthew Fam

2. [Love In Lines] Why You Should Date Widely – Vanessa Tai

3. [Love In Lines] Is It Acceptable To Flirt When You’re Attached? – Tan Lili

Standard
Arts & Events, Lifestyle

MW Reviews … High Class (Play) – Vanessa Tai

People have always been curious about the obscenely rich. You only have to take a casual glance at the newsstands to see the proliferation of celebrity and high-society magazines. This strange fascination was what inspired Michael Chiang’s first play in 14 years, High Class.

material-world-high-class-2The story revolves around newly-divorced tai-tai Alexis Li (played by Nikki Muller), a sassy and confident ex-TV personality who sets out to create her own reality show to groom five tai-tai’s. However, instead of being presented with sophisticated debutants from District 10 neighbourhoods, Alexis got sabotaged and ended up with a motley crew of five misfits. The mastermind behind the treachery? Her former best friend, Siobhan, whom her ex-husband started an affair with.

Similar to Chiang’s previous hit play Army Daze, the five finalists are a quirky cross-section of Singapore’s society. Meng Yee (Serena Ho) is a tomboyish real estate agent, Azizah (Siti Khalijah) is the bubbly schoolteacher from Jurong, Janine (Mina Kaye) is the airheaded beauty queen, Ye Feng (Audrey Luo) is the TCM physician hailing from Beijing and finally there’s Sunita, a dengue inspector working with the NEA. Special mention has to go to Jo Tan, who plays the role of good-natured Sunita. The role was originally supposed to be played by Elizabeth Lazan but she came down with dengue a few days before the first run (yes, life and its many ironies) so Tan had to step in and prepare for the role within 48 hours. It was an insurmountable task, and she pulled it off with aplomb.

material-world-high-class-1

If for some reason, you only stayed to watch the first half of High Class, you may walk away thinking it’s a thinly-plotted play that gave you a couple of laughs. However, the heart and soul of the play comes alive in the second half of the play when the characters emerge from their shallow stereotypes and the audience start to learn the back stories of these women, including Alexis. Behind her dazzling diamonds and Herve Leger dresses, is a surprisingly warm and big-hearted individual. Muller’s large, expressive eyes has a way of drawing you in and as her very human emotions and problems reveal themselves, you start to root for her in a way you may not have in the first 45 minutes.

While the play could have done with tighter pacing, the campy, over-the-top acting of the cast had the audience in stitches from start to finish. Don’t expect high-brow, dry humour here though. This is the slapstick, almost goofy brand of humour favoured by local audiences. But beyond the zany script, the storyline does throw up a more somber talking point, namely: Do modern women still aspire to nothing more than marrying a rich man?

High Class is currently playing till 14 July at the Drama Centre. Get your tickets at Sistic now.

Note: The author was invited to review High Class by Running Into The Sun. All opinions are the author’s own. 

About The Author: Vanessa Tai is a founder of Material World who has previously worked on magazines Simply Her and Cosmopolitan Singapore. Now a freelance writer and a full-time contributor to this website, the 26-year-old dreams of attending every single major music festival before she turns 30. Follow her on Twitter @VannTaiTweets

[If you like this story, you might also like]

1. MW Reviews … Dirty Dancing: The Classic Story On Stage (Musical)
2. 15 Songs You Never Knew Were Covers
3. [Infographic] So You Are Not A Fan Of Smash 

Standard