Love, Relationships

The 8 Escape Routes From A Bad Date – Matthew Fam

Bad dates can be an excruciating affair to endure, but some of us may feel bad for being straightforward with him over our lack of interest. Be it due to non-existent chemistry of having little in common, or him possessing a deal breaker trait (bad body odour anyone?), escape routes are sometimes the necessary evil to put a premature end to an otherwise terrible occasion. Save yourself the trouble with these 8 ways. 

Wishing someone's call would be the perfect excuse for you to leave?

Wishing someone’s call would be the perfect excuse for you to leave?

1. The Emergency Call
To nail this date-terminating smokescreen, have a trusted friend call you in the event of a meeting gone sour. When a date turns unbearable, discreetly send her a text to call you. Upon receiving the lifesaver call, pretend that an urgent matter has sprung up which requires your immediate attention (tip: saying ‘my [insert family member] just got admitted to a hospital’ is probably not the best excuse). The grand exit follows.

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2. The Friendzone
This is the dreaded phrase that all men loathe. To enforce its power, casually mention during your date how it’s great to be making new friends and networking- he should be getting the hint that you have no romantic intentions from this outing. Can’t take a hint? Then try being a little more forward by telling him that you’re not looking for love. Who knows? A romantically unmatched pair may make great platonic friends instead.


tumblr_mobrqm7gOX1s2wckio1_5003. Gross Him Out On Purpose

Not many people enjoy making themselves look bad in front of others, but desperate times call for desperate measures. It could be as simple as personifying the very trait that he doesn’t like in potential partners, for example, being high-maintenance (this is where you have to listen well during conversation). But take care not to overdo it- you want to put up subtle signs to ward him off, not make a fool of yourself.

 

tumblr_n57djaf1j31qbatypo3_5004. The Cramps Card
Sure, it’s no laughing matter to be having your monthly cramps, but when a disaster date looms, a little white lie couldn’t hurt right? It’s time to unleash that inner Secondary School Drama CCA diva and whip out those acting chops for this stunt to be pulled off successfully.

 

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You’ll have to do better than that to convince him.

5. Fake a Food Allergy
In this last-ditch effort to relieve yourself from date torture, you need to find anything you ate in your dish, whether its nuts or seafood, that could warrant a full-scale allergic reaction.

Allergies can activate as quickly as a few minutes after ingestion, so you don’t need to worry about timing your staged itch too soon. First, make a remark about having ingested some allergy-causing ingredients. Next, endure Mr. Boring for another 10 minutes before you start itching. A little acting would certainly go a long way (note: the trick lies in not over-exaggerating. It’s not the bubonic plague you’re feigning!)

6. Go Dutch 
For some reason, several men seem to think that paying for your date is an entitlement for him to expect a second one from you or a romantic advance (uhh… WRONG??). To prevent unwanted future disturbance, pay for your share of the meal to ensure that he can’t use this excuse against you.

And remember: repeated messages from him post-date on why you aren’t unto him counts as harassment. You have every right to inform him that his advances are not welcomed!

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7. Let Him Blabber
We all know that people love talking about themselves, right? So latch onto this perfect opportunity- let him drone on in the event you find yourself scrapping the bottom of the barrel for conversation topics (hmm, nice weather we’ve been having lately). A good starter is to ask him all about his job, and let the conversation go on idle auto-pilot. This way, you’d spare him the ego-crushing defeat of a deathly silence between you two.

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8. The Sleeping Beauty

You tell him that you’re dead tired from a strenuous day at work, when really, not even a double espresso could save you from this snoozefest of a date. Here’s where it gets tricky: if he’s a complete stalker and insists on seeing you again, avoid him altogether. Feeling shy? Being upfront via text in a non face-to-face meeting makes it less awkward to express your disinterest.

 

So, how do you get yourself out of a bad date? Share with us in the comments section below!

About the Author: Matthew Fam is a contributing writer of Material World, and has worked at Cosmopolitan Singapore as an intern and Contributing Beauty Assistant. He writes, teaches, and performs for the stage. Matthew enjoys museum visits, Singaporean Theatre, and spends too much of his undergraduate allowance on magazines.

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2. 10 Must-Know Ways He’ll Never Be Boyfriend Material – Matthew Fam

3. [Love In Lines] When You Don’t Have Time For Love – Tan Lili

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