Love In Lines, Relationships

[Love In Lines] 5 Things Single People Hate – Vanessa Tai

Don’t get me wrong, there are many things I like about being single – namely, the freedom to do anything I want – but there are times where being single sucks. And no, it’s not being the only singleton at a coupled-up party (although that kind of blows too.) After speaking to several of my single friends, I’ve put together a list of things that really peeve us single folk. Can you guess which is my top peeve?

Not all single women are variations of Bridget Jones, y'know.

Not all single women are variations of Bridget Jones, y’know.

1. People assuming that all you want out of life is to get attached
I may be generalising, but this is especially prevalent for women. You can be highly successful in your career, but people will still ask, “Oh, but how’s your love life? Anything exciting going on there?” Yes, I get that they’re probably concerned (or nosey) but to me, it just sounds like my relationship status is the most important factor when calculating my worth as a person.

2. People saying things like, “You just haven’t found the right person,” or “You just need to make more friends.”
Whenever I hear something like that, I’ll think, “No shit, Sherlock! And here I thought I was single and alone because of my ugly, warty face or my despicable personality!” But if you proffer any sort of sarcastic response, you get labelled as a bitter old spinster. You just can’t win!

3. When friends tell you to “stop being picky, or you’ll be left on the shelf.”
Of course, the first thing you’ll feel is annoyance. But when the irritation has settled, self-doubt starts to creep in. “Could they be right? Am I really too picky? If everybody is attached, there must be something wrong with me!”

4. The assumption that there’s The One
I’ll admit it, when I was younger and way more idealistic, I used to believe there was One Person out there for everyone. Until a particular Sex and the City episode where Miranda tells Charlotte holding out for that ONE soulmate is too dangerous because the probability of never meeting him is so high. That really opened my eyes that there’s no one perfect partner; it’s more of finding someone who’s suitable and both of you working hard to make the relationship work.

5. People assuming you’re just bitter whenever you talk about being single
I’m sure you’re familiar with this scenario: A single woman makes a bold declaration that she’s perfectly content staying single for the rest of her life … and people will make snarky comments ranging from, “She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on,” to “She just needs to get laid!” I’m not even going to try to defend myself or my fellow single friends here, because no matter what I say, people will still form their own assumptions. All I’m going to say is, we can’t even begin to know what goes on in people’s minds so let’s all curtail our judgment, shall we?

Fellow singletons, what are YOUR pet peeves? Tell us in the Comments section below!

Love In Lines is a special under the Relationship section of Material World. The four founders each takes a week in a month to talk about dealing with love from different perspectives. Founder Vanessa Tai talks about navigating the often-confusing world of singledom. Stay tuned for more! 

About The Author: Vanessa Tai is a founder of Material World who has previously worked on magazines Simply Her and Cosmopolitan Singapore. Now a freelance writer and a full-time contributor to this website, the 26-year-old dreams of attending every single major music festival before she turns 30. One of her favourite “single gal” activities is eating like a feral animal in public while reading a book. Follow her on Twitter @VannTaiTweets

[If You Like This Post, You Might Also Like]

1. [Love In Lines] The Fear Of Getting Hurt
2. [Love In Lines] Singlehood and Self-Pity
3. [Love In Lines] The Question I Dread The Most

Standard

4 thoughts on “[Love In Lines] 5 Things Single People Hate – Vanessa Tai

  1. No. 3 for me.

    When I came out of a long relationship a few years ago, a friend – in a conversation – kept asking me, “How about ABC?”, “Why don’t you go out with XYZ?” … It wasn’t that these guys weren’t “good enough” for me but I felt he was recommending them to me because 1. they were single 2. they were nice enough.

    But nice is not enough. You just know when a person is not a MATCH.

    After a while, I asked him, “You know, if you were the single one, I wouldn’t wish upon any Plain Jane on you. I would want the best girl out there for you. Because you are my friend. So please, don’t ask me to accept any ol’ Joe. As my friend, I want you to want the BEST for me.”

    It was a very emotionally charged conversation as you can see …

    Like

Comments are closed.