Love In Lines, Marriage, Relationships

[Love In Lines] He Proposed – Deborah Tan

So yes, Simon proposed to me while we were on our holiday in Bali yesterday. After 3 years, the man has finally decided to make a respectable woman out of me.

Us in a shameless selfie taken at Sardine in Bali - the most proposal-suitable restaurant we went on our first day there. Our proposal didn't happen there.

Us in a shameless selfie taken at Sardine in Bali – the most proposal-suitable restaurant we went on our first day there. Our proposal didn’t happen there.

After the event, I posted on Facebook how those who’ve been threatening to embarrass me at my wedding could now take a queue number to do that. The deluge of Likes and “Congrats” was heartwarming as it was overwhelming. Honestly, I didn’t expect such an outpouring of love from my friends and family. Really.

One friend’s response, however, really summed it up: “Well done! Hell has frozen over!”

Yes. The unthinkable has happened. The Deborah who used to bug her married friends with questions like, “How do you know he’s the one you want to live with for the rest of your life?”, “What makes you think you won’t meet someone better?”, or “What’s going to happen if you regret your choice?” is engaged. The Deborah who felt uncomfortable doing bridal magazines is probably going to be needing one of those very soon.

Our friends are hustling us for the details.

I can tell all of you this: There was no sunset. We weren’t in a beautiful Balinese restaurant overlooking the padi fields (we did that on our first day in Bali). There was no fancy surprise. And …

There was no ring.

So those of you hoping to catch a glimpse of a big rock on my right hand can give up now and go back to watching “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”.

Did I mind that we didn’t have a ring? No. Absolutely not.


Quite nice, what?!?!

When was the last time anyone spotted a ring on my fingers? I don’t wear rings usually and I don’t expect my proposal to feature one. In fact, I’m campaigning for a TATTOO around our ring fingers instead. Cheesy? Well, not if you know that I’m someone who already has five tattoos. Practical? You bet! Have you seen anyone try to take off a “tattoo” ring? That’s impossible! So yes, I am going to try my darnest to sell him the idea of a tattoo ring. He’s not very keen on that idea and I suspect he is going to work very hard to try to change my mind. Good luck, Simon.

How did he propose? Well, we were waiting for our takeaway at Made’s Warung and our conversation led to him asking me, “Shall we get married?” No bended knee. No crying. No declarations of everlasting love. I jokingly replied, “Haha! OK. You going to get down on your knee or what?” He had planned to pop the question when we go for dinner at Poppies – a Balinese institution in Kuta since 1973. As fate would have it, I had to “ruin things” by whining about getting a massage and then heading back to the hotel with some cheap local fare from Made’s.

On hindsight, I would be at a total lost if an entire restaurant was looking at us. As much as my friends think I’m a drama queen, my proposal should preferably not be a scene out of a rom-com. Not for me.

Two years of living together have taught us both a thing or two about grand gestures. Neither of us are fans of them. I envision my wedding to be a party where friends basically drink themselves silly, where we’ll be playing embarrassing frat-boy games, where people will be able to eat, have fun, have conversations, and get drunk.

But you know what, girls? There is one wedding tradition I must insist on:

A hen party. And, for this one night in my life, I promise I will not try to take control of things.

Hell has indeed frozen over. Two cynical individuals are getting married. Now, let’s hope we don’t ever change our minds on children.


Love In Lines is a special under the Relationship section of Material World. The four founders each takes a week in a month to talk about dealing with love from different perspectives. Founder Deborah Tan talks about the trials and tribulations of living together with a partner. Stay tuned for more! 


About The Author: Deborah Tan is a founder of Material World. After 10 years of working in magazines Cleo and Cosmopolitan Singapore, she is now a freelance writer/editor who works on this website full-time. She likes liquid eyeliners, bright red lipsticks, tattoos, rock & roll, Mad Men, Suits, and wants Henry Cavill (or a lookalike) as her hen night’s stripper. Follow her on Twitter @DebTanTweets.


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