Love In Lines, Relationships

[Love In Lines] Singlehood and Self-Pity – Vanessa Tai

Single people reading this, when do you feel the most alone? Is it during the festive season when loved-up couples are canoodling under the mistletoe? Or during Valentine’s Day when Orchard Road seems to be spilling over with starry-eyed girls clutching overpriced flowers from their beau? Or is it after a particularly rough day when you grab your phone to call someone and you realise there’s nobody you really want to talk to (or if you’re really honest, nobody who cares enough to listen to you whinge.)

Or is it all of the above?

We all have moments where we feel particularly lonely. For me, I feel my singleness most starkly when I invite a friend out and he/she asks if their partner can come along. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I feel gutted whenever that happens. It makes me wonder if my company is so insufficient that they have to invite their partner along to fill up whatever void it is that I’m unable to fill.

Don’t get me wrong though; I’m not an unreasonable person. I can understand if for some reason or other, my friend doesn’t get to see her boyfriend much so she tries to include him in as many outings as possible. In fact, I encourage it! What I don’t understand is couples who see each other all the time but still insist on being joined at the hip. For some reason, that makes me feel pronouncedly alone. Maybe because it reinforces the fact that there’s nobody (that I know of, anyway) who wants to be joined at my hip.

Lest you think I’m your stereotypical morose single woman gagging to get attached, let me just set the record straight: these moments of self-pitying loneliness are few and far between. However, when they do occur, I’ve discovered a great way to tackle it. Introducing my self-devised 3-Step Process For Snapping Out Of Self-Pity:


Love In Lines is a special under the Relationship section of Material World. The four founders each takes a week in a month to talk about dealing with love from different perspectives. Founder Vanessa Tai talks about navigating the often-confusing world of singledom. Stay tuned for more! 

About The Author: Vanessa Tai is a founder of Material World who has previously worked on magazines Simply Her and Cosmopolitan Singapore. Now a freelance writer and a full-time contributor to this website, the 26-year-old dreams of attending every single major music festival before she turns 30. Follow her on Twitter @VannTaiTweets

[If You Like This Post, You Might Also Like]

1. [Love In Lines] Why You Should Never Play Matchmaker

2. [Love In Lines] Sharing 101

3. Why You Should Make New Friends In Your 20s